When I was young, I didn’t have a place to be alone where I could think, but now I get lots of chances to be alone (not because I'm a loner or anything, I just don't live with my parents anymore.) I got into writing as well, so I decided to make English my Major. Anyway, in all my excess time for thinking and time for writing, and especially in all the time I've spent with enough caffeine in my system to power an entire computer lab, I've made a lot of decisions on what I believe in when it comes to philosophies, which is why I liked this essay that Andrew Lam wrote called "Love Money, Prison, Sin, Revenge."
As Lam accounts his memory of April 14, 1991, when four Vietnamese youths held 41 hostages in a Good Guy's electronics, store, he notes that he remembers "being overwhelmed by an irrational fear... In their demands, I heard the thematic echo of vengeance, that forms and shapes many Vietnamese youths who grow up in America." (p.52) And how much philosophical value is in here? Lots! Although it's been fifteen years since the end of the Vietnam war, vengeance (Andrew believes) is still an issue. But is it an issue that concerns him? Yes! Why? Because he's Vietnamese, because he's witnessed the fall of Saigon, because Vietnam is still part of his identity, just like the years that I spent on B street are part of mine. It's a piece of past that cannot be erased from memory, so of course it concerns him.
Also at issue is the American world that is evolving Andrew's identity. He notes that "teenagers are daily worshipers in this secular high-tech temple of consumerism... It is here in this post modern American public square, that the ethnic private meets the mainstream public." (p. 53) And by "ethnic private," I believe that he is referring to two things. One is of course the Vietnamese (and other "foreign" people) who live a more private life walking around in America with Americans who are... less private should I say? Furthermore, I believe that he is alluding to the fact that his identity (much like in this "American public square") is this private Vietnamese side of him meeting the American (and more open) side of him.
As discussed before, Lam has a dual identity and he finds himself accepting of this fact unlike the older generation of Vietnamese in the US, who Lam describes as people who are silent and "no longer feel anchored anywhere but in their impoverished homes. The exterior landscape belongs to America, strange and nonsensical, but not their true home." (p. 56) This become clear when he says "I am also aware that I will somehow benefit from their tragedy. Whereas the youths are inarticulate and fail to become stars, I, the one who has a public voice am about to gain a measure of notoriety as the teller in their sensational tale." (p. 59) In essence, it's the writing and thinking and especially the public voice (coincidentally the American bit in Andrew's identity) that keeps the Vietnamese bit of his identity and Vietnamese- Americans' stories and philosophies alive.
Which brings me to why I write. I write because my beliefs are the most important part of my identity, and thinking them through, and writing them down and making them known by what ever means necessary is the only way for me to keep them alive and strong.
But what stories and philosophies do I have to spread? Read on...
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